I wrote this sestina for my AP English class last year. I got a B.... but I edited the end so maybe it's A worthy now :)
If you don't know what a Sestina is, it's a poem where the last word of each line gets repeated in a specific order in the next line... So the words: Girl, hands, hearts, bones, children and innocence are always the last words, except for the last clump, and I'm not gonna explain that one, because I barely even understood :)
Here I am, your little girl.
I reach out my hands
And try to touch corrupt hearts
of such dry bones.
Once your cherished children,
Now with loss of innocence.
With loss of innocence
I went astray, your little girl,
With many sheeplike children.
Infection and disease caught my once pure hands.
Sickness spread to my bones,
Piercing my heart.
Piercing my heart
Was the want of the innocence
That had escaped my flesh and bones.
Sanctify me! I cry, your little girl.
Wash away the dirt from my hands
And save the hearts of Your children.
"Save these children"
Cries my aching heart.
Speak, that they may wash their hands.
Lost is our innocence.
My purpose, your little girl,
To awaken sleeping bones?
Awaken – first – my decaying bones
So I may join the army of your chosen children.
A warrior, your little girl,
among the strongest of hearts.
Untouchable innocence.
Oh! Give me clean hands.
Will they ever reach full cleanliness, the hands?
We wash them to the bones.
There is still lack of innocence.
God, save us, your children;
The evil in our hearts
Separates You from me, your little girl.
God, move in the hearts of your children.
One day the hands will be white as snow on every boy and girl.
One day we will all be clothed in innocence and you will raise the dry bones.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Middle schoolers :)
I helped with the middle school share N care on Sunday night. For those of you who don't know what that is; it's basically just a time to hang out and sing songs and play games. I'm just going to share some of the rediculousness of middle schoolers and remember when I was a middle schooler... which is kind of a scary thought.
While we were eating pizza the girls started making fun of one of the boys because a girl at camp had a crush on him and was apparently "instantly in love" with him. Later, one of the girls gave me some details about what went on in the girls cabin and said "everytime someone started talking about anything, it would some how turn into a conversation about boys." I laughed and told her that it was the same when I was in middle school.
She then asked "does it get better in high school?"
I told her that most people mature but there are still high schoolers that can't stop talking about boys.
I look back at middle school and think that it was so crazy for me and my friends to be "in love" with these immature middle school boys. I honestly don't remember liking anyone in middle school but that may just be because I would rather forget those awkward years ;)
Another one of the middle schoolers was running around rapping F-A-N-A-T-I-C... FANATIC and I really just wanted to ask him if he even knew the definition of the word, but I refrained.
Now I will tell you about some things I remember from middle school... (warning, major immaturity):
I was pretty shy when I was in middle school but when I was with my friends, I was obnoxious. I remember one year at camp me and my friends decided that it was cool to eat the candy from the snack shack off the dirt and lick trees... Yeah, I wish I was kidding. We did this the whole week and thought we were the coolest people in the world.
Sleep overs absolutely had to have truth or dare played at some point or the whole night was a failure.
If you talked to a boy it meant that you were in love with him, and even if you weren't, your friends would somehow convince you that "you are meant to be together." ... yeah, 2 middle schoolers dating... Ooh, you gonna go sit at the lunch table together? Seriously!!!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Forgiveness Under My Skin.
I am not known for being a rebelious person. I didn't care what my family said about tattoos, I wanted one. I was 18, after all. One of my best friends and I had been planning on skipping our senior all nighter to go and get tattoos.
My mom had talked to our pastor, some of her friends and even looked up some stuff on the internet about whether or not tattoos were acceptable in the Bible. To her dismay our pastor told him that there is nothing in the Bible that says getting a tattoo is a sin, especially if I'm getting a tattoo that shows the goodness of God.
My mom was still dead set against me getting a tattoo. She refused to take me to a tattoo parlor, or to the bank. She wouln't even tell me where my birth certificate was.
I wasn't going to let this stop me. The day after graduation Leah and I were looking up different tattoo places and decided that places like "pain for sale" didn't sound so welcoming. We decided that screaming needle was where we were going to get inked :)
Neither Leah or I could drive at the time and since our parents weren't completely supportive we decided to start calling friends to see if they would be willing to take us to get our tattoos. Mary came to our rescue! She, Leah and my other friend Nikki came to my house and picked me and my friend Jill up.
When we got to screaming needle we talked to some tattoo people and showed them our birth certificates and stuff so they could see that we were old enough to get tattoos without parents permission. Leah went first. She got a beautiful tattoo of a tree and the verse Jeremiah 17:8 which is one of my favorite verses... and obviously Leah's :) She said that the tattoo just felt like an electric tooth brush on her rist.
Then it was my turn. I paid the man $80 and he brought me into the next room and had me sit on a bench. He washed my left foot and put the stensil on. It looked beautiful. Better than I had even imagined. I jokingly said "that was easier than I thought." I asked the man "How bad is this going to hurt?" And he said "It will just feel like a cat scratch on a sun burn." "Hmm, that doesn't sound too unbarable" I thought. The first few seconds weren't too bad. After about 3 seconds it was aweful. Cat scratch on a sunburn? Think about that a little harder. Cats scratch deep and it hurts. When he went over a bone I could feel the vibrations crawling up my leg. It was agonizing. As soon as he was done, it just felt like bad sunburn. It was so beautiful. Even when it was swollen and slightly bloody.
Leah and I left screaming needle very happy. They are very clean and if I ever decided to get another tattoo, I would definately go back.
My tattoo took about 2 weeks to heal before I could treat my foot normally again. I still absolutely love it and I will tell you why....
Forgiveness is such a beautiful word. Every time I look at my foot I remember what Jesus did for me on the cross. I don't have to carry the weight of my sin. I can learn from my sins and move on.
My tattoo has given me opportunities to witness to people. I was on the bus a few weeks ago (because I still can't drive) and a man asked me what my tattoo meant. I got to tell him that I was forgiven by God because he sent his son to die on the cross. It was so cool.
I don't think tattoos are a sin. Especially one that has such meaning. I honestly think God laughs when people make big deals about tattoos. Leah and I always joked about how one day when we are at the gates of heaven God will tell us that we have beautiful tattoos and that we used them to glorify Him.
I had quite a few people tell me that I made a mistake when I got a tattoo and that I should regret my decision or that I will regret it someday. How could I ever regret God's amazing forgiveness? People who say this baffle me. Thank you for reading this :)
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool."
~Isaiah 1:18
My mom had talked to our pastor, some of her friends and even looked up some stuff on the internet about whether or not tattoos were acceptable in the Bible. To her dismay our pastor told him that there is nothing in the Bible that says getting a tattoo is a sin, especially if I'm getting a tattoo that shows the goodness of God.
My mom was still dead set against me getting a tattoo. She refused to take me to a tattoo parlor, or to the bank. She wouln't even tell me where my birth certificate was.
I wasn't going to let this stop me. The day after graduation Leah and I were looking up different tattoo places and decided that places like "pain for sale" didn't sound so welcoming. We decided that screaming needle was where we were going to get inked :)
Neither Leah or I could drive at the time and since our parents weren't completely supportive we decided to start calling friends to see if they would be willing to take us to get our tattoos. Mary came to our rescue! She, Leah and my other friend Nikki came to my house and picked me and my friend Jill up.
When we got to screaming needle we talked to some tattoo people and showed them our birth certificates and stuff so they could see that we were old enough to get tattoos without parents permission. Leah went first. She got a beautiful tattoo of a tree and the verse Jeremiah 17:8 which is one of my favorite verses... and obviously Leah's :) She said that the tattoo just felt like an electric tooth brush on her rist.
Then it was my turn. I paid the man $80 and he brought me into the next room and had me sit on a bench. He washed my left foot and put the stensil on. It looked beautiful. Better than I had even imagined. I jokingly said "that was easier than I thought." I asked the man "How bad is this going to hurt?" And he said "It will just feel like a cat scratch on a sun burn." "Hmm, that doesn't sound too unbarable" I thought. The first few seconds weren't too bad. After about 3 seconds it was aweful. Cat scratch on a sunburn? Think about that a little harder. Cats scratch deep and it hurts. When he went over a bone I could feel the vibrations crawling up my leg. It was agonizing. As soon as he was done, it just felt like bad sunburn. It was so beautiful. Even when it was swollen and slightly bloody.
Leah and I left screaming needle very happy. They are very clean and if I ever decided to get another tattoo, I would definately go back.
My tattoo took about 2 weeks to heal before I could treat my foot normally again. I still absolutely love it and I will tell you why....
Forgiveness is such a beautiful word. Every time I look at my foot I remember what Jesus did for me on the cross. I don't have to carry the weight of my sin. I can learn from my sins and move on.
My tattoo has given me opportunities to witness to people. I was on the bus a few weeks ago (because I still can't drive) and a man asked me what my tattoo meant. I got to tell him that I was forgiven by God because he sent his son to die on the cross. It was so cool.
I don't think tattoos are a sin. Especially one that has such meaning. I honestly think God laughs when people make big deals about tattoos. Leah and I always joked about how one day when we are at the gates of heaven God will tell us that we have beautiful tattoos and that we used them to glorify Him.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool."
~Isaiah 1:18
Blood Drive March 11, 2011
This is a note I wrote to facebook a while ago :) I just want to get some stuff on my blog.
So, I signed in to give blood at 8:45 am. I wanted to do it at this time so I could get out of my second hour. I planned on being done by 3rd hour. Anyways, I showed the man my APOS blood card and he told me I could sit down.
I sat in a chair for about 5 minutes.
I went to a little table where I filled in a bunch of bubbles.
A lady came up to me and started asking me questions like "what did you eat for breakfast?" and "have you caught any diseases from Africa?"
Then.... Then she told me she had to prick my finger... Last time I gave blood I cried when the lady told me. I just had to look away... so I am proud of myself :)
She pricked it and it HURT!!!
She told me to go to a table and drink a full bottle of water (this was the worst part). I had been drinking water all morning so I would be healthy to give blood. My body did not want any more water. I think I was literally filled up. It took me like a half hour to drink a bottle of water... yeah. I thought I was going to throw up. I was about to put my head in between my legs... not even kidding.
But, I got to go lay down on the tables where they draw the blood.
I layed on the table and this guy tied a rubber band thing around my arm and it hurt. He made me flip over because my other arm has better viens.
He and the other blood drawer person thought it was funny to joke around saying they didn't know what they were doing... I didn't find it very amusing....
He put yellow stuff on my arm and every time he came up to me I thought he was going to put the needle in so I freaked out ( My body was literally spazzing out... not like crazy though.)
I had my eyes closed from the second I layed on the table... As soon as he stuck the needle in I breathed a huge sigh of relief which he found kind of weird.
He told me I had to could to 5 like 1...2...3...4...5... and then squeeze the squeezy thing. I was a little shaky still so my counting was like 1.2.3.4.5. squeeeze... I got it done faster though ;D
I finished after about 5 minutes and the whole time the guy kept singing about how close I was getting to being done.
After the 5 minutes he took the needle out not very gently... It was wiggling and it didn't feel so great.
I stood up and felt a little dizzy.
I sat at the table and ate some food and they made me drink juice ( which after all the water I DEFINATELY didnt want.)
After about 10 minutes they told me I could sign out... so I did... then they asked me how I felt... I said "good, I'm just a little dizzy." (WARNING: DON'T EVER SAY THAT)
I had to go lay down on a bed for like 10 minutes... only to get up to go to the bathroom ( I had to go so bad after all the liquid.) The lady had to come with me and hold the stall closed which was AWKWARD!!!
When I came back I had to drink a can of pop ( the last thing I wanted after all the liquid)
It took me probably another 15 minutes just to get half way through with the pop. Then I had to eat trail mix.
It was worth it though :)
It could save someones life :)
Story Time :)
I layed awake in my bed. I couldn't clear my mind enough to fall asleep. I never have issues sleeping. "Ugh, I guess I might as well go on facebook" I thought... I mean, what else am I going to do at 12:30 in the morning?
I grabbed my laptop and logged onto facebook. "No notifications... I guess I'll just stalk my homepage" I thought. As I scrolled down the page my heart sank as I read posts from a facebook friend who had her boyfriend cheat on her. I had never really talked to this girl in real life or on facebook. I prayed for her that she could look to God during her situation.
I decided that I wanted her to know that I was praying for her because I always like to hear that people are praying for me. I felt weird writing the message but I could feel God pushing me to talk to her. The message I wrote looks somewhat like this:
"Hey, I've been reading your statuses and I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you! I know you don't know me very well but if you ever just need someone to talk to I'm here! There's someone better out there for you. I don't know if you believe in God but just know that He cares for you very deeply and has someone specially designed just for you :)
Well, thanks for reading a message from someone you barely know. I hope this makes you feel somewhat better :)".
Her response made me cry. She told me that she didn't even know me and she felt like I cared more than her friends did. It made me really thankful for my friends and gave me an opportunity to be a friend to someone who really needs one.
I look back on this and think "Wow." God kept me awake that night because He wanted me to talk to this girl. He filled my head with thoughts that I couldn't get out of my mind that kept me awake. Instead of leading me to go watch TV, read or do some other thing; He lead me to facebook? I don't know about you but I never really thought that facebook would turn out to be a place to witness to people. God works in amazing ways and it's breathtaking to see His movement so obvious.
Since this has happened, I have been looking for reasons to witness to people over facebook. I have wanted to be a missionary for a long time and I had always invisioned myself somewhere in Africa and I think that looking so far ahead caused me to stop looking at what I can be doing now.
I encourage the people who read this... if anyone ever decides to look at this blog... to look for areas where you can witness to people. Some people might look at this and think I'm trying to conform people to my beliefs. That is sort of true, I'll admit it... but the way I look at it, it's not just getting people to believe what I believe; it's honestly God working through me to save you from selling your soul to an eternity in hell.
I grabbed my laptop and logged onto facebook. "No notifications... I guess I'll just stalk my homepage" I thought. As I scrolled down the page my heart sank as I read posts from a facebook friend who had her boyfriend cheat on her. I had never really talked to this girl in real life or on facebook. I prayed for her that she could look to God during her situation.
I decided that I wanted her to know that I was praying for her because I always like to hear that people are praying for me. I felt weird writing the message but I could feel God pushing me to talk to her. The message I wrote looks somewhat like this:
"Hey, I've been reading your statuses and I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you! I know you don't know me very well but if you ever just need someone to talk to I'm here! There's someone better out there for you. I don't know if you believe in God but just know that He cares for you very deeply and has someone specially designed just for you :)
Well, thanks for reading a message from someone you barely know. I hope this makes you feel somewhat better :)
".Her response made me cry. She told me that she didn't even know me and she felt like I cared more than her friends did. It made me really thankful for my friends and gave me an opportunity to be a friend to someone who really needs one.
I look back on this and think "Wow." God kept me awake that night because He wanted me to talk to this girl. He filled my head with thoughts that I couldn't get out of my mind that kept me awake. Instead of leading me to go watch TV, read or do some other thing; He lead me to facebook? I don't know about you but I never really thought that facebook would turn out to be a place to witness to people. God works in amazing ways and it's breathtaking to see His movement so obvious.
Since this has happened, I have been looking for reasons to witness to people over facebook. I have wanted to be a missionary for a long time and I had always invisioned myself somewhere in Africa and I think that looking so far ahead caused me to stop looking at what I can be doing now.
I encourage the people who read this... if anyone ever decides to look at this blog... to look for areas where you can witness to people. Some people might look at this and think I'm trying to conform people to my beliefs. That is sort of true, I'll admit it... but the way I look at it, it's not just getting people to believe what I believe; it's honestly God working through me to save you from selling your soul to an eternity in hell.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)