Miracles

For those of you who don't know, I am working as an STC in the snack shack at Word of Life Island this summer. 

I absolutely love working in the snack shack. I love the girls I work with and I love every last customer even when they take half a century to decide what kind of ice cream they want. I just love it.

There is one job that I just despise.
This job makes my heart sink.
It makes me stop in my tracks for a moment.
It makes me want to curl into a ball on the floor...

Getting the ice cream out of the freezer...

The freezer is a dark place. I'm pretty sure Satan lives in there. It's so cold it freezes the phlem in the back of your throat. It's so sad it causes the happiest of hearts to fall into a deep and lonely depression. However, even in the darkest places, God can perform miracles. I don't care how silly this story may seem, I witnessed a miracle in the freezer.

About 2 weeks ago my supervisor told me that I needed to go get some ice cream out of the freezer. She said "go get 3 chocolate chip cookie dough and 2 mint chocolate chip." As my heart sank I gave a big fake smile and said "okay, I can do this." 

I walked the short distance to the kitchen; trying to mentally prepare for the task that was at hand. As I grabbed the wobbly red wagon that would hold the giant containers of ice cream I let out a few last deep breaths.

I walked slowly into the refrigerator and shut the door behind me. I walked towards the next door that would lead to the freezer. I see a thin layer of ice creeping around the edges of the door. I take one last breath and open the door.

I frantically run around in the dark freezer, digging through dozens and dozens of containers of ice cream. Looking for two labels "Mint chocolate chip" and "cookie dough." I search and search but all I see is "chocolate" and "vanilla" and "butter pecan." Finally after minutes of searching I see the beautiful words "chocolate chip cookie dough." I grab 2 containers because that's all that I can hold. I run out of the freezer and out of the refrigerator to the gimpy red wagon. I take a few seconds to compose myself then I go back for round 2.

I know where the last container of chocolate chip cookie dough is so I grad it immediately and set it on an empty part of a shelf so I won't lose it. I need to find 2 more containers of ice cream. The cold is burning my skin. The liquid in my nose is freezing my nostrils shut. I dig through the heavy containers of ice cream. "chocolate... Coffee... strawberry." 5 minutes go by... "vanilla, sherbert..." and finally "mint chocolate chip" but there is only one. I need 2 of them. I've already checked just about everywhere. I hold onto that thought as I once again sprint out of the freezer and into the warm kitchen. I set the containers of ice cream on the wagon and try to compose myself for my final trip to the freezer.

Almost in tears I walk back into the refrigerator. The food prep girls are laughing at me. I see the freezer door but I can't bring myself to open the door. I'm almost certain there is no mint chocolate chip ice cream in there. I've been searching for it this whole time. I walk over to the freezer door and just stand there for a moment. I pray to God out loud "God, I can't find this ice cream anywhere. It's too cold in there, I can't do it. Please help me... I need you to show me the ice cream." I open the door and quickly run into the freezer, ready to start digging through dozens of heavy containers. I look at the messy pile of containers and right in the front, with the label facing me is the mint chocolate chip ice cream. "THANK YOU, JESUS" I scream to the empty freezer.

I run out of the freezer and out of the refrigerator in pure awe. I yell to the food prep girls "I prayed to God and He put the ice cream right in front." I ignore their strange looks and run to the little red wagon. "thank you, Jesus... You are so cool" I truly just witnessed a miracle.

I think it's so cool that God cares about such little things that don't seem important to us. He still performs little miracles. He still shows Himself to us everyday. God is always with us... even in the valley of the shadow of death... or in this case... the freezer. 

I'm ready!

     I'm definately not the first person in the world to go through this, I'm sure every high school graduate on their way to a far away college goes through something similar.

I'm definately going to miss my family. We don't always get along the greatest but we love eachother. I'm pretty sure life isn't going to be even half as amusing without them. I'll miss lame jokes with my mom. I'll miss Beccas long stories that don't usually have a point to them. I'll miss Sarah always putting her limbs all over me when I'm trying to relax. I'll miss laughing at how ghetto our family is with Rachel. Oh, and I'll miss singing and dancing with my dog, Miley, because she's part of the family too!

I'm going to miss my friends too.
I'll miss old camp stories with my engineer friends.
I'll miss hearing about "the cute boys" with my middleschool friends.
I'll miss regroups and deep discussions with my college friends.
I'll miss being offended and made fun of by my heathen friends.

Part of me just wants time to stand still. I just want to stay in this moment for the rest of my life... Because that means I'll be home. With my family just down the stairs and my friends just a few miles away.

In 13 days I have to grow up. I have to be independent. I have to leave my life behind me.
But you know what? I'm ready. I really am.

What the Heck am I doing with my life?

 Over a year ago God placed the burden of human sex trafficking on my heart. I thought for the longest time that He was going to use me in some way to help the women and children who have been put through trafficking, prostitution, rape, etc.

This burden was taking over my whole being. The fact that there are people out there who could take advantage of another human being in that way was something I just couldn't stand; something I can't stand.

A couple months ago, I went on a mission trip to Jamaica. We did puppet shows in the schools and I completely fell in love with the children. For the last couple months I thought that God was trying to show me that I was meant to work with children and NOT victims of human trafficking.

In a few Middle Eastern African countries there are about as many children as there are adults. Think about it. A person can only be a child for about 18 years, right? And people can live to be 90 years old sometimes. The sad truth is that many African people die as children. I really thought that I was meant to do something about this... I had no idea what I was suposed to do though. I strongly believe that with my extreme squeem and shakiness that God does NOT want me to do anything that involves giving people vaccinations and any other medical help. So how else was I suposed to do something about this? The truth is, I'm not going to be a doctor! There isn't much I can do to treat the sicknesses people face in poor countries like the Congo and Uganda.

I don't blame God for all the confusion I've had to deal with the last few months. He's been screaming at me to listen to Him and I've been too busy listening to what I THINK He is telling me.

It sickens me to think that I actually tried to convince myself that human sex trafficking was something too big for me. It was something that I couldn't handle emotionally. It was.... endless excuses! What happened to "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."?

I feel that God wants me to work with victims of human trafficking; especially with children who have gone through this hell on earth. This is definately a blurred vision but I'm seeing things so much clearer.

Going to Jamaica was one of the best experiences I have ever had. God didn't mean for it to cause me so much confusion. He meant for it to open my mind to grow deeper in my ministry. My stupid human nature is just so good at ignoring what God has placed right in front of me.